Question : This may be a hard question but my parents don't believe in God. I don't know if I should obey them or not because we don't believe the same stuff. What should I do?

Answer : Here's the deal: The Bible doesn't qualify the commandment to honor our rents with, “only do it if your parents are Christians.” We're just simply commanded to honor them, period.

But let's talk through this for a second. What does it mean to honor your parents? To honor someone means to give that person respect and acknowledge his/her authority. Parents don't have to be Christians to be respected. In the same way, God asks us to respect the laws of our government even though the government may not be a “Christian” government (Romans 13:1-7).

The Bible also tells children to obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1). This can be really tough sometimes. It's against human nature to submit and obey, but that's what God tells us to do. It's the right thing to do. Jesus can help us be obedient if we ask him to.

Check out these scriptures for some more info:
Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16; Mark 7:10; Romans 13:1-7

Question : I've been trying to convince my parents about God and that he's real and get them saved but I don't think I've done really good at it because they haven't changed at all. Do you have any tips to getting your parents to become Christians?

Answer : I'm old school but I think that the best way to introduce and get your parents to Christ is by living in such a way that they will see Christ in you. One famous person said one time, “Preach the gospel at all times…and use words if necessary.” He meant that words only enhance the message of a person's life.

Of course you don't have to be perfect. But if you are growing in your faith and if your parents are able to observe the changes—even the small ones—in your life, they may become interested. That's when you can tell them about Jesus.

Don't worry if your parents don't respond right away. Most students have this natural inclination to run home right after the accept Jesus into their heart and try and get their parents to as well but it may not be that easy. Some people have stored up a lot of years of negative feelings about God, Christianity and church and overcoming those feelings takes time.

Keep praying for your parents and do your best to honor them and show them that Jesus has made a difference in your life.

Check out these scriptures for some more info:
1 Peter 3:1-2; Matthew 5:14-16; Luke 8:39; Philippians 2:14-15

Question : 6 years ago, my family moved into a trailer community. It didn't really used to bother me but then a couple of weeks ago; a couple of my friends were making fun of me. Ever since then, I've been feeling like trailer trash. What should I do?

Answer : I completely understand how you could feel, as you termed it, like "trailer trash" because of the materialistic society we live in. Unfortunately, the world we live in has defined success as the car we drive, the house we live in and the clothes we wear. This is certainly a shallow way to live and measure success and definitely unscriptural. If success is what we have rather than what we contribute, then what about people like Mother Theresa? I believe she has a much greater reason to be admired than somebody who thinks they're hot because they drive a Lexus. Success is obedience to God and His calling on your life and using the gifts He has given you to serve other people. This kind of success has eternal rewards as well as rewards in this life, too.

Here are some scriptures I think you will find encouraging: I Timothy 6:6-12 and Philippians 4:12-14. Jesus said He is preparing a mansion for us in Heaven (John 14:1-3). But there's another side of the coin. God isn't against us having wealth (II Corinthians 8:9). In fact, it is a part of God's blessings for those who tithe and obey His Word (Malachi 3:10-12), but it is not what we pursue. We pursue Him and His will and He will add all these things to us over time (Matthew 6:33). But our measure of worth and success is never what we have or don't have. We are valuable just because we are created and loved by God. I hope this helps.

Question : My parents are getting on my nerves. They always want to know all of my personal business and everything about my personal life but I don't want to tell them everything. It's ok to have some privacy right?

Answer : The next time your parents ask you a personal question, try to remember that they are asking because they care a great deal about you. You can start worrying when your parents stop asking you personal questions. How much you tell them, of course, is entirely up to you. There's nothing wrong with having some privacy, but your parents need the assurance that you are ok. They remember that when you were little they had to watch you like a hawk to keep you from eating rat poison! J

If you never tell your parents anything, they'll probably expect the worst. And if you lie to them, they will find it difficult to trust you. That's why it's a good idea to trust your parents with the truth. If you do, they may stop asking you so many questions!

Just remember this general rule: If it relates to healthy, honest, private thoughts and and moments that we all have concerning ourselves and our feelings…it could be ok. But if it seems questionable in any way, it probably should be something you should share.

God gave you parents for a purpose: He wants to teach you many lessons to prepare you for adulthood. I know in many ways this probably isn't what you want to hear, but if I just told you want you wanted to hear, you wouldn't need me…would you?

Check out these scriptures for some more info:
1 Thessalonians 3:5; Psalm 139:1-7; Proverbs 12:24

Question : I'm having a lot of trouble with my stepdad. He married my mom like 3 years ago and lately he's been trying to tell me to do all of this stuff. I'll admit I've been pretty mean back but I just am having a lot of trouble with it. I need help.

Answer : First, you should obey because he or she has authority over you and the Bible says that you should (Colossians 3:20). When talking about this subject in the Bible, the Apostle Paul didn't make a distinction between “real” parents and between stepparents. If your family includes a stepparent, then you are under the authority of both parents, not just your birth parent and the same rules apply to students who live in foster homes. Unless your parents are forcing you to commit a sin, you are expected to submit to the authority God has given to them.

Just keep in mind that there is always a benefit for you. If you can establish a good relationship with them, chances are you may receive more freedom and trust.

Check out these scriptures for some more info:
1 Peter 2:15; Proverbs 11:13; 16:28; 1 Peter 2:12, 21-23

Question : I have some friends that my parents don't like very much. What should I do about it because I like hanging out with them and my parents don't even know them.

Answer : Perhaps the first thing that you should do is find out why your parents don't like your friends. Maybe your parents know something that you don't.

You don't have to agree with your parent's opinions but you really should listen and take their criticisms seriously. Do all you can to explain to your parents why you like your friends and why your friends are such good friends. Keep the communication lines open and in time your parents MAY begin to see your point of view.

If your parents dislike your friends because they aren't Christians, you might assure them that you plan to influence your friends more than they influence you. Then follow through on that plan…don't just say it to say it. Invite your friends to church or to Lift and be very clear about your standards, beliefs and values.

If you have tried everything that you know to do to help your parents understand your point of view and they still insist that you not hang out with a friend, you have no choice, as a Christian, but to obey them. If you continue the friendship, you are communicating that your friend is more important than they are. While you may feel that way now, you will regret that choice sooner or later. Remember…friends are rarely forever, but your family is.

Question : Why do parents split up in the first place? I just found out that my parents are getting a divorce and I don't know what to do…

Answer : Man, I am sorry to hear this. We are here at Elevate to support you and help you through this tough time. The good thing about God and the church is that we never have to go through anything alone.

God's plan for husband and wife is always to stay together and not be divorced. When a man and woman get married, they vow to stay together with each other for life. They know it won't always be easy, but they want to work out their problems and stay together.

But all people are sinful and have weaknesses. No one is perfect. That is why troubles arise in all relationships, even between two people who love each other very much. Sometimes, problems like this come up and eventually these problems are so big that the husband and wife or both just give up and decide to end the marriage. They didn't plan for it or desire it, but they probably felt that there was nothing left to do.

The easiest thing that is going to happen through this process is to blame yourself. This is not the answer. The best approach is to avoid blaming anyone and do everything you can to demonstrate the love of Christ in the middle of a tough situation. Try to love and honor both of your parents even though they find it impossible to love and honor each other.

Question : All I do with my brother is fight…any advice?

Answer : Thanks for your email. I think it's great you are reaching out to your friend and inviting them to church. Don't let their resistance stop you from being persistent. At this point, one of the best things you can do is let them see your strong love for God by your actions, not just your words. This will prove their argument wrong that all Christians are hypocrites. This argument they have is a really just a nice excuse for them not to take a look in the mirror. Often people don't want the truth, they just want a nice argument that makes them feel better about themselves. But again, don't let that keep you from reaching out to them, showing them God's love in words and actions. Keep up the great work. Remember the seeds you sow today in her life may not spring up today or tomorrow, but they will grow up (Galatians 6:7-10). We look forward to seeing you next week.