Question : Life has stunk lately. I can't seem to make any friends in school. Is something wrong with me or am I just not trying hard enough? Please help me!!!

Answer : Let me promise you this…there is probably nothing wrong with you! Everyone is different. The truth is that some people find it easy to make friends because they are so outgoing while others do have a harder time because they like to be alone or just having one or two close friends. Whatever kind of person you are, you were made that way for a reason so embrace it and love it!

On the other hand, there some important things that you can do to make friends. My mom always said that if you want to be a friend, you have to appear friendly. This seems silly but the truth is that in order to have a good friend, you have to be a good friend. Don't walk around with a scowl on your face always putting others down or being selfish. Instead, do nice things for people around you and treat them with respect.

To find a friend, watch for someone around you who likes some of the same things as you and get to know that person. Don't expect them to come to you, you have to go to them!!! Don't worry if it takes a little while before you find the right person to be your friend.

If you find yourself being rejected over and over again, you might want to ask somebody around you who knows you well if they have any ideas. Sometimes, other people who can be honest with you can help you learn why you having trouble.

And always remember, we want to be your friend here at Elevate above anything else! Happy hunting!

Check out these scriptures for some more info:
Proverbs 17:17; 18:24; 20:6

Question : My best friend has been partying a lot lately. I don't really know what to say to her but I know I should say something. How do I keep their friendship without falling to that stuff?

Answer : First of all, if you have a friend that is participating in illegal or harmful activities, you should do everything in your power to persuade them to stop. If they wont listen to you, they you may not be able to keep their friendship. You may need to seek out some new friends who share your same values and beliefs.

If you still want to keep their friendship (as most students do) you have to keep this in mind: Real friends don't pressure each other to do what they don't want to do. If you don't want to party the way they, then don't. Respectfully explain that you aren't into that kind of stuff.

If they don't accept that, then truthfully, they probably aren't very good friends. Friends worth keeping will respect you enough to let you be yourself. If they aren't letting you do that, they aren't friends worth keeping.

Check out these scriptures for some more info:
Romans 13:13; Proverbs 1:10; 2:12-15; 25-26; Romans 13:11-14

Question : My best friend has been talking about suicide lately. At first, I thought they were just kidding, but lately I think that they have been really thinking about it. I'm pretty freaked out. Should I tell somebody?

Answer : Hey. I know that this is a scary situation for you and ever harder to ask about. I'm just glad that you were able to be real enough to ask for advice.

The answer is yes. We should always take talk of suicide seriously, even when someone seems to be kidding around. I would tell someone that you know that you can trust (a school counselor, parent, youth leader, teacher, etc.)

If you have reason to believe that your friend is seriously considering suicide, you need to tell someone quick.

Sometimes you just have to go with your gut when someone talks about suicide. Sometimes, people will talk about it as a way of expressing their hurt, anger or pain. Encourage your friend to get help and offer to go with him/her to get it. But don't ever think that you have to handle it by yourself. Call your youth pastor or a trusted parent if you need to. It's important to also even tell your friend's parents. If you are really desperate, you can call the national suicide hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE.

Like I said, I know this is a tough thing to do, but I believe in you and am praying as well. Don't be afraid to write us again and tell us about the progress.

Check out these scriptures for some more info:
Luke 6:36; 1 Samuel 31:1-4; 2 Samuel 1:6-9; 1 Kings 19:3-4

Question : I've got a lot of friends who aren't Christians. Do you think that it's ok to have non-Christian friends?

Answer : Of course I think that it's ok to have non-Christian friends. I look at Jesus who hung out with the worst of sinners all throughout scripture. He hung out with some of the most despised people of his time. He did it for two reasons. First, he loved everybody. He didn't love religious people any more than he loved anyone else. Second, Jesus wanted to give those people eternal life and a relationship with Him. We should want to do the same.

The idea here is that we influence our friends more than they influence us. There lies the potential danger and the reason why someone has probably told you before that you shouldn't hang out with people who aren't Christians. IF you feel like your friends are having a negative impact on you, then it may be time to get some new friends.

Remember, however, that our closest friends should be Christians. In other words, people you choose to be accountable with or to share your deepest feelings, thoughts and aspirations should be Christians.

Check out these scriptures for some more info:
Mark 2:15-17; Luke 7:34-35; 1 Corinthians 5:9-11; 10:27

Question : My best friend has been spreading rumors about me to everybody! They've done this before and I forgave them, now I'm just getting mad. What should I do about it?

Answer : Hey…I know this stinks. It's never fun to have somebody talking about you behind your back, especially your best friend. The first action that we should take should be to pray. Ask God for strength and wisdom to help you through the situation and respond in a Godly way.

Next, talk with those who are spreading the rumors. Often times, people around us love to stir things and we get upset because we “believe” a friend said something about us and we aren't really sure. Don't talk around them to everyone else to find out what they said, just ask them directly.

If they reply no, then you both have someone else whose spreading rumors that involve the both of you that you need to address in a Christ-like manner. If they reply yes, then set the record straight by firmly but calmly letting them know how those rumors made you feel. If they are really your friend, they'll listen respectfully and respond accordingly.

What you should always do is avoid spreading rumors about the rumor spreaders. That only makes things worse, not better. If the rumor is an attack on your character, you should conduct yourself in such a way that your behavior does all of the talking for you.

Check out these scriptures for some more info:
1 Peter 2:15; Proverbs 11:13; 16:28; 1 Peter 2:12, 21-23

Question : Do you think its ok for me to date somebody who isn't a Christian?

Answer : The question should never be, “is it ok?” The question should be, “why would you even want to?” Here are some thoughts that might help with your question. When choosing a relationship, it is important that it have a good foundation. (It's like building a house: without a good foundation it won't last through life's storms.) The best foundation we can build our relationships on is the Word of God and our relationship with Jesus. Jesus said this is a foundation that will last through any storm (Matthew 7:24-27). If you want to build your life on what God says is best for you and this friend doesn't, you will have conflict. When decisions arise regarding values, they will choose to do what the world says is okay, while you choose to do what God says.

There are many people who have been burnt because they thought they could make another person believe in God too. Instead, they ended up making big compromises. In the end, all they had were regrets and they lost their relationship anyways.

If they don't want to serve God, pray for him. Let your life be a witness of God's love and goodness, but don't get into a relationship that isn't centered on God. Use this time to find out more about how special you are to God and the awesome things He wants to do through your life. When you put God first, He will take care of fulfilling the desires of your heart. Don't settle for less than God's best. It is always best for you. Hope this helps! I am glad you are a part of Elevate. You're special to God and us.

Check out these scriptures for some more info:
II Corinthians 6:14-18; Amos 3:3; I Corinthians 15:33; 5:6

Question : I know that it's wrong to have sex before marriage, but what about kissing? Do you think that's ok?

Answer : It's not that kissing is wrong; it's that if you're not careful, your flesh can get carried away. You see, your flesh doesn't know it's saved and it wants to do what it wants to do. The safest thing to do then is not put yourself in a situation where you might do something you'll regret. One way to avoid that is by never being completely alone with a guy/girl. Hope this helps. See you at Lift!

Question : I heard you recently say that we should try and pick friends to do life with. How should I try to make friends for my life?

Answer : Thanks for the email. Love is a word many people don't really understand. In our culture, especially because of TV and movies, we think of love as an emotion and this great big feeling we have towards someone. And although we may genuinely have feelings for someone, it isn't necessarily true love. In I Corinthians 13, God describes what true love is. In all of the words used by God to describe love, none refer to it as being a feeling.

Many people today jump into a relationship because they have strong feelings for someone. But after awhile, those feelings tend to go away (New things and people are always exciting, but they eventually get old.). What happens then? Usually they break up and find someone else who will bring back those exciting feelings. That isn't love. For this reason, one out of two marriages today ends in divorce. At the altar when their feelings were strong and high, they said to each other, "till death do us part.” But when the feelings leave, so do they. Why not say, "When the feelings are gone we part”?

True love is a decision we make over the years. When I see a couple who have been married 30 years and still love each other and have stuck by each others side through thick and thin, that is what I think true love is. You may be attracted to someone, but true love isn't a feeling. It is a life-long commitment someone makes when they are married.

True love is a journey that grows in time. Not a destination we arrive at after we have known someone for a month or two. I hope this helps and makes sense. I am glad you are a part of Elevate. Have a great week!

Question : I tried talking to a friend about God the other day, but they just responded that all Christians are hypocrites. I can see what they are saying because a lot of them are, but how can I tell them that not all of us are and they actually believe me?

Answer : Thanks for your email. I think it's great you are reaching out to your friend and inviting them to church. Don't let their resistance stop you from being persistent. At this point, one of the best things you can do is let them see your strong love for God by your actions, not just your words. This will prove their argument wrong that all Christians are hypocrites. This argument they have is a really just a nice excuse for them not to take a look in the mirror. Often people don't want the truth, they just want a nice argument that makes them feel better about themselves. But again, don't let that keep you from reaching out to them, showing them God's love in words and actions. Keep up the great work. Remember the seeds you sow today in her life may not spring up today or tomorrow, but they will grow up (Galatians 6:7-10). We look forward to seeing you next week.